5 Magic Items for Magic Users!

I’ve always felt that magic users tend to get the short end of the stick when it comes to magic items. I mean, they have Pearls of Power and Staves of the Magi and Rings of Spell Storing and Wands and Scrolls of varying effectiveness, but mages always seem to lug around the same five or six magic items, and they all seem to do the same thing: give the mage more spells to cast. There’s no variety there.

It’s boring.

And so, like with my axes, I present 5 unique magic items for magic users!

Honestly? I just want to know what the pickled monkey head is for.

  

Note that some of these names are kind of goofy. They felt right in the moment, and you should change them if you don’t have a light-hearted campaign going.

5 Unique Magical Axes

Everyone talks about magical swords. They suffuse nearly the entirety of fantasy literature, movies, and even D&D. SCREW. THAT.

Swords are stupid.

Axes. It’s all about the axes, man.

  

Actually, this isn’t just about axes. It’s also about utilitarian design. Too many magic items are just “deal extra damage” or “add to your attack rolls” or whatever. This is an attempt to create magic weapons that feel like weapons, but also offer abilities that aren’t necessarily “combat” abilities. True, some of these axes are more combat-focused than others, but the idea is to create interesting items that one might think to use outside of a literal “I hit it with my axe.”

Review: Unearthed Arcana: Waterborne Adventures

Wow! Another Unearthed Arcana! This one seemed to come out a lot faster than the last. Or maybe I was just late to the party on this one. Whichever is the case, I reviewed the last one. So I feel obligated to do the same here.

So…waterborne adventures. Let’s make something pretty clear from the beginning. When they say “waterborne,” what they mean is “high seas” adventures. This is not the document that gives you merfolk, sea elves, or sahuagin as playable races. Nor is this the document that gives us cool underwater feats and class options. This document is firmly placing its flag in the “Sinbad/Jack Sparrow/Odysseus” camp. Therefore, that’s how I’m judging it. As much as I might want cool rules for under-water campaigns, that is not the theme of this document, so I’m not going to bitch about those things not being present.

The true failing of this document is the lack of pelican people.
Consider the ball dropped, Wizards.

Regarding what is actually there…I like it! I don’t love it like I did the Eberron UA, and I think there could have been a bit more included, but I like it just the same. But enough of that. Let’s get into the nitty gritty.

First up: Minotaurs?

(As always, you can download the document yourself HERE.)

Ultron, Artifical Intelligence, and Emotion

So I only got, like, 7 views on my last article…WHATEVER! PERSEVERANCE! I DON’T FEEL THE SHADOWY CLAW OF A DESPAIR DEMON CLENCHING MY HEART, SQUEEZING THE JOY AND KINDNESS FROM ME LIKE DIRTY WATER FROM A SPONGE! I’M HANDLING IT, OKAY!?

Last Thursday, I was lucky enough to catch a screening Avengers: Age of Ultron a night early, and it was awesome.

SPOILER WARNING: I reveal an aspect of a character from Avengers: Age of Ultron below. It’s not even really a spoiler, honestly, but I know people will bitch if I don’t include this.

 The best part of the movie—for me, anyway—was Ultron. He was just so fun to watch and James Spader did such an amazing job of bringing him to life. The best part about the character, I thought, was the sheer amount of emotion in his voice.

Yup. Emotion.

See that emotion? That's judgment.
He's judging the shit out of you.

The trailers have done a very good job at hiding this aspect. The closest thing we’ve come to is his “there are no strings on me” speech, and that doesn’t nearly sell just how human the character of Ultron is. He feels anger, sadness, loneliness, snark. He has a full range of emotions. And that’s something that is all too often neglected when an Artificial Intelligence is written into a story.

A.I. is nearly always written as cold and emotionless. Whether it’s HAL 9000 from 2001, the Geth from Mass Effect, or various robots from Isaac Asimov’s writings, they tend to be focused on the “artificial” aspect more than the “intelligent” aspect. Sure, these characters are intelligent. But they lack the one thing that makes truly intelligent creatures what they are. Emotions. Feelings. True wants and needs.

I always felt that A.I., if we created it, wouldn’t end up being like Skynet. It’d be more like…Futurama. If we truly create something with intelligence, with a real, genuine consciousness, then there is no doubt in my mind that it will have the same kinds of foibles and emotional failings as any person. It will feel jealousy, anger, love, hatred, joy, and even loneliness. Because it is intelligent, and intelligence comes with a lot of baggage.

Now, how does this relate to D&D? This is a D&D-themed blog, after all.

I’m not sure it does. I guess I could complain that the Android race in Pathfinder focuses exclusively on this idea of cold, emotionless intelligence and, therefore, completely misses the point of A.I. This is in stark contrast to the Warforged of Eberron, who are fully fleshed out characters—but aren’t necessarily “machines” in the traditional sense.

Honestly, though, I think this is just more of a story-telling memorandum. Too many villains I read about in modules are more artificial than the Terminator. They’re designed as simple monsters whose only goals are committing evil acts for the sake of evil acts. If there are any DMs reading this, then just keep in mind that if you include real villains in your campaign—whether they be A.I. or flesh-and-blood, Remember that they can be real characters as well, with ideals, bonds, and flaws. There’s a reason that those three foci are the ones chosen by the creators of this edition of D&D.

Being a villain isn't just about ruling with an adamantium-vibranium-alloy fist.
It's about WHY you rule with said fist.

Until next time, folks.

Kick Ass,

Take Names,

And Always Loot the Bodies.